About Therapy
why therapy
Psychodynamic psychotherapy can help you understand why certain feelings, reactions and relationship patterns seem to return, particularly when you find yourself responding in ways that feel difficult to change.
Past experiences often leave an imprint on the present. Therapy gives us an opportunity to understand those experiences, but also to notice how they are being lived now in your relationships, in moments of conflict, in the ways you protect yourself, and sometimes within the therapy itself.
In couple therapy, we may slow down a difficult interaction and look together at what happened: what each of you intended, how it was experienced by the other, what the moment came to mean, and why it became so emotionally charged.
The aim is not simply greater insight. It is to help you recognise familiar patterns earlier, become less governed by automatic reactions, and develop greater freedom in how you respond to yourself and to each other. Together, we focus on:
- repeating emotional patterns
- attachment needs and fears
- how past relationships shape present reactions
The goal is not to “fix” your relationship but to help you respond with greater awareness, emotional flexibility, and relational choice. You may still have disagreements, but you may find yourselves less stuck, less reactive, and more capable of thinking together.
how we will work together
Therapy offers a confidential and non-judgemental space in which we can think together about experiences that may have become difficult to think about alone.
My way of working is engaged and collaborative. I may invite you to stay with a particular feeling, draw attention to a pattern as it emerges, or help slow down a moment that has quickly become charged or defensive. Together, we are interested not only in why a pattern developed, but in what happens when it appears between you now, and what may help something different become possible. We will think about where these responses may have come from while also exploring what might allow something different to happen now.
some of the concerns i work with:
This work may be right for you if:
One of you feels unseen, misunderstood, or emotionally alone
You are experiencing communication difficulties
You are dealing with the aftermath of an affair or infidelity
You are struggling with issues around intimacy and sex
You are navigating a rupture, transition, or decision point
You want depth and reflection, not surface-level advice
You are navigating intercultural and interracial differences
You do not need to arrive with a clearly defined problem. Through couples therapy, including emotionally focused therapy, you can explore these feelings together. Uncertainty itself can be a meaningful starting place, and individual relationship therapy can also provide valuable insights.
couple therapy
Couple therapy gives you a space to bring the parts of your relationship that have become difficult to think or talk about together.
You may find yourselves having the same argument repeatedly, becoming defensive or withdrawn, or feeling that however carefully you try to explain yourself, the other person does not quite understand. Sometimes the difficulty is not knowing what you feel at all, only that something between you no longer feels right.
Together, we can slow these moments down and become more curious about what is happening beneath them. This may involve understanding what each of you brings from earlier relationships and family experience, but also paying close attention to how these patterns are playing out between you now.
The aim is not to remove difference or disagreement. It is to help you become less trapped by familiar patterns, better able to understand one another's experience, and more able to repair, communicate and make choices together.
individual relationship therapy
The focus of the therapy will be on the issues that impact intimate adult relationships. Whether you choose to attend couples therapy with your partner or seek individual relationship therapy alone, this process can pave the way to a deeper understanding of yourself and your relationship. Sometimes, individual relationship therapy can be particularly helpful in overcoming a breakup, addressing commitment issues, or managing anxieties surrounding your relationship, especially when combined with emotionally focused therapy.